WED., JUNE 21, 2006

It’s been said that the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math. True enough. Problem is, some people just feel lucky. Actually, judging by the success of the lottery, a lot of people feel lucky, which is part of the reason so many of them are walking around with sexually transmitted diseases. They clearly didn’t do the math. They didn’t realize that Lucky can be a double-edged sword. Sometimes it’s a pink sword that’s sored. As Shakespeare would say, “There’s the rub” – and he didn’t mean that in a good way. So it could also be said that STDs are also a tax on people who are bad at math. Sometimes when it feels like you’re getting lucky, you’re getting something else entirely: herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, HPV, HIV – a whole writhing petri dish of microbiological malady. The seedy truth is that when we’re bumping uglies, we’re not the only life forms invited to the party. It’s a huge bummer when you think about it, but pretty much any time you start waving that thing around, you’re rolling the dice. Depressed yet? Here’s something that’ll keep your fabulous fluff from turning into a wrinkly turtleneck: Thanks to modern medicine, contraceptives and education, the odds are still in your favor. It’s unlikely that you’re going to die from having sex. Unlikely. You’re still gambling though, but not all gambling is bad. For instance: This weekend at the Austin Music Hall, AIDS Services of Austin presents its 13th annual Viva Las Vegas fundraiser, a faux gaming themed party featuring gambling, food, drinks, and dancing. Just because it’s the 13th annual doesn’t mean somebody’s not going to get lucky. In fact a lot of people will get lucky from the proceeds of this event, which helps fund ASA as well as their Capital Area AIDS Legal Project, which helps provide free legal assistance to Central Texans living with HIV and AIDS.