FRI., SEPT. 19, 2003

Thirty-thousand of any species confined in a 15-acre space is a potentially combustible situation. This year’s ACL fest may hit that mark before headliners Dwight Yoakum and the Right Reverend Al Green even take the stage. Fortunately on the evolutionary scale, genus homo rests a comfortable distance from both spider monkeys and elephants, so some of the wilder chaos theory scenarios can be ruled out. Still, the sheer number of Porta Potties, Birkenstocks, and exposed armpits is enough to make you lose sleep – as if the distant relatives and estranged high school classmates who blew into town at the last minute looking for a place to crash hadn’t already taken care of that. Chances are that somewhere in the musky haze of the Leftover Salmon hillbilly-Rasta mosh pit you’ll start feeling the need to carve out a little personal space. Here’s an idea: take a peaceful 10-minute stroll down to the Elk’s Lodge (on Dawson, first light east of Lamar) and check out Austin’s best and only renegade feminist synchronized-swimming team, the H2HOs. After all of the dust and disarray of the ACL Fest, synchronized swimming will seem like a wet dream. Word around town is that the drinks at the Elks Lodge bar are stiff and cheap so you can bone up on a little liquid courage before going back to face the dust scrum down the road. Imagine yourself poolside nursing a buzz while just a few feet away the H2HOs represent feminism through the aquatic arts. And, lest you think that you’ve abandoned live music completely, you’ll be happy to discover that the H2HOs come with their own live music accompaniment, a band suitably named Wishing Well. Performances run conveniently the same Friday, Saturday, and Sunday of the ACL Fest and are price at a reasonable $10, although unlike the doings down at the park, no one will be turned away for lack of funds.