THU., APRIL 27, 2006

Here’s an activity that’s not on the schedule out at Circle C: Eeyore’s Birthday Party – not that they don’t appreciate Pooh in the C, surely they do. It’s just unlikely that folks out in the ‘burbs would pay homage to a down-in-the-dumps donkey who mopes around like he just swallowed a shit sandwich. They’re more likely to be on the Tigger bandwagon: The bouncy, dimwitted, overly optimistic, dangerously oblivious, well-meaning closet cokehead who always leaves a trail of destruction in his wake. Tigger may seem like a cheap-shot personification of Prez George the Second, but it’s unlikely A.A. Milne had that kind of foresight. The safer bet is that Tigger is a personification of a whole bundle of American traits that Europeans find both lovable and obnoxious – first and foremost our egotism. The wonderful thing about Tigger is that he’s the only one! The same could be said, of course, about Eeyore. The only thing worse than an egotistical, overbearing, thick-headed cheerleader is a black hole of pessimism, depression, and self-loathing like Eeyore. Imagine a whole Circle C full of Eeyores: Time to whip up a big batch of Reverend Jim’s Jonestown party punch. So why Eeyore? Who knows? But it has something to do with hippies – dirty-footed, face-painting, costume-wearing, drum-circling, pot- and patchouli-scented hippies that swarm Pease Park like sugar ants on a lemon drop; hot, sweaty hippie chicks in halter tops; tattooed trustafarians; old, bald hippies percolating Pease porridge in the bottoms of their banana hammocks; dust, feathers, dogs, beer, breasts, butt bags, tie dye, Thai Stick, skin, sunscreen, stilt walkers, crossdressers, jugglers, maypoles, music, and motherfucking mayhem – all free, all day Saturday. If you’re really concerned about Austin’s waning weirdness, you might want to check this deal out before you buy your bumpersticker.