Jerm Pollet – The Pleasurecraft

SAT., DEC. 24, 2005

Last week the president of Iran called the Holocaust a myth. His statements were a huge shock to a world that expects slack-jawed idiocy of this sort to come primarily from American fundamentalists, the same thick-headed hayseeds who believe that evolution is a crock cooked up by Satan’s minions. Sure, Ahmadinejad’s comments were a bit over the top, especially since there are plenty of Jews in the Holy Land with numbers tattooed on their arms who would be more than willing to set him straight, but true, profound ignorance has never been bullied by empiricism, has it? What makes ignorance so scary is that you don’t even have to work for it. You can just trust somebody else to know shit for you. Certainly takes the pressure off the slow learners, but the problem with that model is that occasionally the person doing the thinking for you turns out to be Hitler. President Ahmadinejad is no Hitler, but his style of revisionist rhetoric is exactly the pile of crap from which issues the mushroom of atrocity. To his credit, President B swiftly and vociferously denounced President A’s comments, citing them as a prime example of Iran’s unsuitability as a keeper of the nuclear flame. It was a bold statement coming from a C student with a God fetish responsible for knocking off close to 30,000 people on the basis of bogus intelligence, but at least he was feinting in the direction of truth and justice. He probably missed the irony of Ahmadinejad’s freshly created myth coming a week before the Western world celebrates its oldest and most cherished one – a myth responsible for more deaths and misery than Hitler could ever conceive. Even if Bush got it, it’s unlikely his epiphany would have resulted in a swift condemnation of all myths. Myth busting is dangerous business. Fortunately there are a few brave souls who are on the side of truth and righteousness. One of those is Jerm Pollet, Mr. Sinus cast member, rock musician, and, as it turns out, cultural historian, who on Christmas Eve will be showing the final installment of Merry F%@#ing Xmas, his special Christmas porn show that exposes the pagan origins of Christmas. Go to this show and you’ll never see Christmas the same way again … unless you go to next year’s show.

FRI., OCT. 3, 2003

If you have never seen Mr. Sinus Theater 3000, you might have some sort of vague notion that it’s even dorkier and less funny than its televised pseudo-namesake, Mystery Science Theater 3000, a show that deservedly holds down a shaky spot in the cable purgatory of the Sci Fi Channel. Admitting familiarity with any programming on the Sci Fi Channel is pretty much date repellent in most circles, so it’s no surprise that the uninitiated remain skeptical. How could a live, local, untelevised knockoff of a mind numbingly bad cable TV show be even remotely entertaining? Start with the cast. Owen Egerton, John Erler, and Jerm Pollet are truly funny guys. Seriously. Pollet and Egerton have spent years honing their chops in local comedy clubs and improv troupes while Erler is a classic cut-up who, in between working on a Ph.D. in classics is also host of KVRX’s wildly popular Elk Mating Ritual Hour, an eclectic amalgam of call-ins, philosophizing, and obscure music billed as, “None of the Hits, All of the Time.” All three are musicians as well – how Austin is that? Pollet fronted the popular punk-pop band Gals Panic back in the early Nineties and still holds down a gig as “Tall, Dark and Lonesone,” a solo show in which he alternately sings and soliloquies on topics both personal and public; Egerton has released a CD of comedy tunes entitled Big Thick Wooden Board, and is a Casio keyboard virtuoso; and Erler shows up occasionally at local karaoke bars to sing Jimmy Buffet tunes in the voice of Skeletor, He-Man’s arch nemesis. Occasionally, Erler also fronts a band called Big in Italy. Under the guise of Mr. Sinus, the three achieve a true comedic synergy that far transcends the Sci Fi Channel counterpart. This may have something to do with the material. Mr. Sinus doesn’t confine itself to the same B-movie fare as Mystery Science 3000. Recently, the movies mocked by Mr. Sinus are high profile studio schlock like Top Gun, Footloose, Speed, and presciently enough, The Terminator. They also manage to work in an actual comedy sketch in the middle of the films that very often involves nudity and cross-dressing, the two unshakeable pillars of live comedy. Lastly, Mr. Sinus allows – even encourages – its audience to drink (responsibly), making Mr. Sinus a happy, interactive, social experience rather than a shameful, solitary, onanistic endeavor. This weekend, the trio takes on the mother of all teen vampire flicks, The Lost Boys, an eye-candied Eighties classic starring huge names like Jason Patric, Kiefer Sutherland, the Corey twins (Feldman and Haim), Jami Gertz, and Alex Winter (the Bill of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, whose sunken eye sockets make him a lock for any role concerning the undead). Rest assured, The Lost Boys is comedic fodder for even the dullest of wits, so Mr. Sinus should cut it and the audience to pieces.