JAN. 3, 2003

You’re probably still shaking confetti out of your hair from Tuesday and it’s already the weekend. Maybe ought three really is going to be your year. The calendar ahead is 362 days of beckoning white space, an empty canvas on which to paint the bold strokes of your ambition, insight and whimsy. Go ahead, fill it up. It’s the new year and your glass is only half full. Get a haircut. Lose some weight. Take Russian. Volunteer. Find a new job. Move. Learn an instrument. Skydive. Read Ulysses. Run a marathon. Meditate. Study theatre. Dance. Join the circus. Climb Everest. Cure cancer. Bite off way more than you can chew. Drag out your faded, wrinkled, shrunken soul and hang it on the clothesline of irrepressible optimism. It’s a new year.

O.K., now that you’re solidly screwed into 2003 and the ugly specter of the holidays no longer looms, wouldn’t it be a scream to relive them again through the twisted mind of a Macy’s Department Store elf? You bet it would. This weekend is your last chance to catch David’s Sedaris’ wicked funny “The Santaland Diaries” at the Zachary Scott Theatre. “The Santaland Diaries” is based on Sedaris’s best-selling book, Holidays on Ice which details the real-life experiences of Sedaris’ stint in the department store elf game. Or is it a racket? Whatever the case, anyone who has ever worked retail during the holidays knows that you don’t have to don an Elf suit to experience humiliation, bitterness and resentment, but it certainly helps. This year’s return engagement is directed by Dave Steakley and stars Martin Burke, who won “Best Actor in a Comedy” for his portrayal of Krumpet the Fun Time Elf. You could be a fun time elf too, especially if your glass is half empty.