SAT. DEC. 7, 2002

The holidays are a time for giving – at least that’s what the man is selling, and by the time you finish this sentence, most of you will have roughly two weeks and some change to pony up with the presents. Even if you’re not on the Jesus train, it’s difficult to ignore the yearly corporate-pimped, guilt-milked spasm of materialism that defines holiday season. When Jesus ran the moneychangers out of the temple he had no idea that 2000 years later they would exact their revenge by creating the shopping mall. Payback’s a bitch. Shopping malls are their own exquisite brand of hell, especially during the holidays: the sickly sweet smell of caramelcorn; the cheese balls (not just the ones singing the carols); the Bobby Brooks sweaters with blinking red-nosed reindeer; the fat, pink-cheeked, heavy-breathing, questionably pedophilic guys in furry red suits plopping endless queues of greed-crazed toddlers in their laps; and the miles and miles of aisles filled with crap everyone seems to want but nobody really needs (God Bless America). The Mallidays have a unique ability to bring out the psychopathic eye twitch in just about everybody – and yet, as the maddeningly pervasive Musak nags, “’tis the season to be jolly”. What’s a well-meaning fun-lover to do? Try blowing at least some of your holiday hack this Saturday at the Holiday Swing, Project Transitions’ yearly benefit that puts the “fun” in fundraiser. This year’s fete features live music by the 22-piece Sentimental Journey Orchestra, swing dance lessons, a cash bar, hors d’oeuvres, desserts, and a silent auction featuring over 250 items. Get into the holiday spirit and spend, spend, spend. All proceeds benefit Project Transitions, a local organization that provides housing, hospice and support to people with HIV. What a jolly way to do a little holiday giving.